Further to my article “DO vs DON’T” where I highlighted that the unconscious mind does not process negatives.


I explained that if we say to someone “Don’t think of a chicken curry” their unconscious mind will immediately delete the “Don’t”. Their conscious mind will therefore receive the instruction “Think of a chicken curry” and, of course, they do.


So, we get the EXACT OPPOSITE of the OUTCOME we were seeking.


I highlighted this with a telling example of my daughter on a swing.


Now, exactly the same thing happens if we say to someone, often on parting, “Oh, and don’t forget to ..... “

Their unconscious mind immediately deletes the “don’t” and the person’s conscious mind receives the message “Oh, and FORGET to ..... “

And, of course, they do!


Fast forward to when we see that person again. The conversation might go something like this -

“Hi Joe, did you remember to ..... ?”

“Oh, I’m really sorry, I forgot”

“Why? I specifically asked you to”

“Yes, I’m sorry, I completely forgot”

“I can’t rely on you to do the simplest thing can I?”

And the conversation can then easily deteriorate into one of blame, excuses, anger, hurt, frustration and a breakdown in real communication.


Further, this sort of situation can fester and corrode relationships.


AND undermine performance, productivity and profits!


However, had we said to Joe, “Oh, and please remember to ..... “